


You won't believe this false hope

by patthephilatos



Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: But with a small section of Alma's POV, Childhood Friends AU, Kanda is very confused about Alma's gender, M/M, Mostly Kanda's POV, Yulma Week 2018, coffee shop date, editing-what's editing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-20
Updated: 2018-05-20
Packaged: 2019-05-09 06:31:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,607
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14710901
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/patthephilatos/pseuds/patthephilatos
Summary: Yulma week day 5: Myosotis | connection, memoriesKanda didn't consider himself sentimental in any way. But when his mind lingered over to Alma, he couldn't help but think about him.





	You won't believe this false hope

**Author's Note:**

> Hey. This was supposed to be for the last day of yulma week but getting sick sucks so it's out a week late. Anyways, I was inspired by the au "Found the phone number of an old childhood friend in some box at the back of your closet and decided to call it to see if it still works." And that ended up evolving into "hey let's do a coffee shop date with non binary alma." as well. So yea, enjoy.

Kanda was _not_ a sentimental person. He just wasn’t. He never found a point to it. People always leave in the end, whether it was good or bad. They always left. So he found no point in getting attached to people. Why get attached to people who just leave anyways? He was _not_ a sentimental person. He couldn’t name a single person he’d met who was worth getting attached to.

He was immediately reminded that that last statement was a complete and utter lie. There had been 1 person in his life who was worth it. But he hadn’t seen them in over 9 years at this point, he likely didn’t remember him anyways. But he did, sometimes. Sometimes he’d be reminded of the excitable and happy weirdo that had been his one and only childhood friend. _Alma_ he thought to himself. He almost couldn’t believe it had been over 9 whole years since he’d seen him. But as he was looking for something in his closet(he didn’t actually find it), he found some old boxes in the back of it. He must’ve shoved them back there when he first moved into his apartment around 4 or so years ago. He pulled them out of the closet and looked at them. They were old,worn and looked a tad beat up. But they had no writing on them to say what they were or what was inside of them.

_Typical_ he thought. He never was one to label his boxes. The only reason a lot of his boxes were labeled when he moved in here was because Tiedoll had _insisted_ that his boxes _had_ to be labeled. He remembered grumbling out a response somewhere along the lines of ‘label them yourself if you want then.’ He’d always been able to find what he needed out of unlabeled boxes just fine. But since Tiedoll had insisted, he had labeled his boxes and Kanda had just rolled his eyes at the time. Tiedoll was always like a slightly overprotective parent to him. Maybe he wasn’t actually overprotective but to him, he always had felt this way. Maybe it was because his own parents hadn’t wanted him? Who knew. He had spent half his childhood bouncing around between orphanages and foster parents who ended up giving him back to the orphanages once they realized kanda wasn’t the ‘happy’ child they had wanted. So he had learned to not like people through this.

Except for one person. _Alma_ he thought again with a small smile. He hadn’t seen or heard from him in over 9 years. They hadn’t exactly hit it off to begin with. Alma had been far too happy and energetic and high maintenance for him. And the way he had always followed him no matter how many times he told him to go away? He had thought that was just creepy and wanted nothing to do with him. So how had he become his only real friend? It was a rather ridiculous way....but it made perfect sense with Alma. He had been hiding from the other kids in the orphanage when Alma had poked his head in and found him. He wasn’t too surprised since he had come to terms with the (really annoying) fact that he couldn’t ever seem to hide from him. But instead of Alma being his incredibly irritating self (least as Kanda saw it), he had just sat down next to him and picked up one of the books he had near him and starting reading it. This routine had started happening so naturally that he had let himself get a bit closer to him.

Give him an inch and he’ll take a mile. Alma had immediately taken his lack of protesting and allowing him to sit next to him in his hiding spot as they were insistently friends. Which still bothered Kanda at the time but he had given up arguing since least if he _looked_ like he was being “friendly” with someone, the adults seemed to have gotten off his back about trying to be friendly with the other kids, which was okay by him. And that was how he more or less became friends with Alma. It wasn’t anything special and the fact that he _always seemed to be smiling_ still creeped him out a bit, but they had developed an almost strange friendship. He’d grown close to him as the years went by and the two of them were still in the orphanage. They’d grown into a routine of hanging out with each other all the time, usually involving Alma being overly friendly or doing something stupid which had made Kanda laugh but he had enjoyed it. He had truly enjoyed his childhood friendship with Alma. But then one day Alma had been adopted and they lost touch with each other. He hadn’t seen or heard from him since he had been adopted.

But several months after Alma had been adopted, Tiedoll had come and adopted him. Kanda remembered this and thought he was just going to be another person who’d adopt him and then bring him back after a month or two saying it ‘just didn’t work out.’ But surprisingly, it hadn’t. Tiedoll had accepted his grumpy moods and tried to help him as best he could. He appreciated that. He hadn’t talked to Tiedoll in a few months….He probably should give him a call or something soon. He sighed at the memories, especially when he thought of Alma. Alma had been his closest,and only, friend at the time. But even he had left him since he had gotten adopted with a different family. He hadn’t really grown close to anyone else. He guessed he had a _few_ friends now. Although he wondered if he could call whatever the hell his relationship with the moyashi and the rabbit as ‘friends.’ It was almost more like mutual dislike with occasional moments of actual friends. Lenalee had become like almost their moderator. Mostly because he and the stupid moyashi tended to fight a lot of each other. Not in the same way he had fought with Alma in the beginning though…..Alma never really fought back all too much except for the fact that no matter what he said, he always had come back to try and hang around him again.

He shook his head and decided to open the boxes. He knew he probably threw them in the back of his closet for a reason but he decided to see what they were. He opened them to find a lot of his childhood stuff. No wonder he had thrown them back there. He generally chose not to look or think about his past unless it was about Alma. He briefly looked through the first box which hadn’t been of any interest, just some old childhood stuff that he really didn’t care to look through or deal with. It made him almost not want to open the second box, but he did anyways.

He was almost glad he did because the first thing he saw when he opened the box was a picture Alma had given him. It was the two of them in their hiding spot and Alma had his _ridiculously bright_ smile and had his arm across his shoulder, pulling him closer. And there he was, with what could probably be seen as barely a smile but it was a smile nonetheless. Somehow Alma could always get him to smile once they had become friends. He rolled his eyes at the photo but also almost missed the days when he was actually around Alma. He was _not_ the nostalgic type of guy and here he was _getting nostalgic_ over an old photo of him and Alma. It was ridiculous. But Alma had always been the ridiculous type of guy. But maybe that’s how they had become friends. He had set the photo down and had dug through the box some more. It looked like he had shoved _all_ his old stuff about Alma in this box since that was all he could find in it. There was so much stuff Alma had given him that he truly had forgotten he even had. It almost made him miss the ridiculously happy boy with the wide smile. He had almost seemed like an energetic puppy at the time. He smiled a bit at the memory of him while he dug through the box. He found an old letter Alma had written to him and he almost forgot that he let Alma call him Yu. He was the only one who he had ever let call him by his first name. He hadn’t heard anybody call him Yu in ages. Well save for the stupid rabbit calling him that but it seemed Lavi had a death wish with him by calling him that so he didn’t count him. He couldn’t remember why he had let Alma call him Yu, but he had. God he was getting far too nostalgic and sentimental looking through that box.

After about a good at least half hour looking through the box and getting sentimental, he had decided to close it up again. It’s not like he could even see Alma again anyways, he had no idea where he was or how to even find him. He wasn’t big with social media so he didn’t use it nor did he care to start now. He had almost finished putting it all away when he found a small piece of paper with a phone number on it. He wondered where the number had even come from, or if it was even Alma’s. He decided to leave it out on his bedside table before packing up the boxes again and putting them back in the back of his closet. Once that was done, he looked over at the piece of paper again and shook his head. He was _not_ the sentimental or nostalgic guy….so why was it all of sudden all he could feel? He quickly blamed it on the fact that he must simply be thinking about Alma too much. He always tended to get a little more like that thinking about him. Didn’t help that now he had a photo of the two of them out on his bedside table as well. He sighed and shook his head before walking out of his bedroom. There was no point in calling the number...it couldn’t be Alma’s….right?

Kanda looked at the cute puppy in front of him and sighed. It reminded him a bit like Alma. Alma always had reminded him of a hyperactive puppy. Maybe that was part of the reason he eventually gave in to being friends with him. He liked dogs, they were far less annoying than people were, they never pried into your business or tried to get you to do things you really didn’t want to do. All they did was provide affection and happiness to others.Which is exactly why he worked at an animal shelter. Minimal people, lots of animals. And when there were lots of people to deal with, least there were animals around so the people didn’t seem _quite_ as annoying. He picked up the one in front of him, a tiny, fluffy little pomeranian and it looked ridiculously happy to see him right now. So naturally the little fur ball reminded him of Alma. Alma probably would’ve loved the dog regardless, it was small, fluffy and Alma 110% would’ve dressed the damn thing up. He attached the leash to its collar and set it down. “Come on Daisy, it’s time for a walk.” They barked excitedly and eagerly followed Kanda out.

He took the usual path while walking. It was a generally quiet neighborhood the shelter was located in, which was nice for Kanda because that meant less chance of running into people. Especially when he took tiny dogs out like Daisy, they always had to stop and pet her and ask him all sorts of questions about her when most of them chalked up to ‘they belong to the animal shelter nearby, you can learn more there.’ It got annoying after repeating that to the tenth little kid that just _had_ to come over and pet them. He walked them into the nearby dog park and let Daisy off the leash once they were safely inside the little dog park area the park provided. He watched the little ball of energy run around the entire thing happily and interact so easily with the other dogs. _Yup. This is literally the dog version of Alma._ he thought quietly to himself.

It had been a week since he found the number in that old box and he blamed being sentimental on actually thinking of trying it out. There was no way it could be Alma’s number….could it? How could he have gotten his number back then? It seemed unlikely but who knew when he actually had even gotten that number. He never quite remembered putting it in so for all Kanda knew, Alma could’ve snuck it in something before he left or something like that. He hadn’t thought about him in over 9 years and now it was all he _could_ think about. He blamed getting sentimental. This is why he never wanted to get all sentimental. It was annoying and distracting and he wanted no part in this. But he also couldn’t help and at least slightly miss his old friend. It had been far too long since he’d even seen him. Maybe he’d consider calling the number….He stuffed that thought away right after it came. He would _not_ call that number. There was no reason too. It likely wasn’t Alma’s anyways. He called Daisy back over to him and reconnect the leash.

“Come on Daisy, time to go back now.” The little dog barked happily in reply and casually followed Kanda out of the dog park. Kanda would _not_ call the number. He would have more willpower than to cave to something as simple as calling a number in hopes it was Alma. He wouldn’t do it.

One more week later, he caved and decided to test the number. _Damn him and making me feel all sentimental_ he thought as he listened to the phone ring. He was about to hang up when he heard somebody’s voice on the other end. He still contemplated hanging up the phone.

“Hello? Are you there?” Kanda froze as he recognized the voice. He hadn’t heard it in over 9 years….

“Hello? Did you hang up already?”

Kanda quickly scrambled to mutter out “Alma? Is that really you?”

“Yu….Is that you? Oh my god...I haven’t heard from you in so long! How’ve you been? What happened after I left? Did you get adopted as well or did you just leave the orphanage once you hit 18. Did you-” He listened to Alma ramble on more questions but he was still shocked. It was _his_ Alma, his one and only true friend from childhood was on the other end of the phone and was actually talking to him. He almost couldn’t believe the number had actually worked.

“Yu! Are you even listening to me anymore?”

Kanda smirked a bit before replying “Well you do talk a lot Alma. Should I be listening to it all?”

“Yu! Yes, you should be listening to it all! I wanna know how you’ve been! It’s been far too long.”

“I know… It’s been over 9 years since we’d last seen each other.”

“That’s why I want answers to my questions! Or are you going to go all silent and broody on me again?”

Kanda couldn’t help but laugh a bit at that “Well I’m still what you’d call grumpy if that’s what you mean.”

He heard Alma laugh on the other end and he’d forgotten how much he actually liked his laugh. Well after it (and Alma) had stopped being annoyingly irritating to him. He’d grown to at least like it a little bit. Maybe this was just the whole ‘absence makes the heart grow fonder’ crap that people always say.

“Awww. And here I thought you’d outgrow your grumpiness”

Kanda smirked a bit before replying “I could probably say the same for you and your damn cheerfulness. You were always way too damn happy and excitable.”

He heard Alma laugh again and it almost reminded him of Daisy, He probably shouldn’t be comparing Alma to a dog but at the same time, that excitable, infectious happiness that he gave off by his laugh and Daisy gives off by just being a happy ball of fluff excited to see literally _anybody_ that comes by them...they were both similar in a way. If Kanda ever introduced the two to each other, he knew Alma would adopt them in a heartbeat. He couldn’t see any reason Alma would pass up a tiny excitable fluff like Daisy was when _Alma was also small and easily excitable._

“Is that really a problem though? It doesn’t seem like much of a problem to me.” He just _knew_ Alma must have a ridiculously goofy grin on his face and he almost hated that he wanted to see it again. His friend was far too easy to predict but he guessed that was just Alma and it had been far too long since he’d seen his friend.

“Anyways Yu, we have to meet up sometime! I need to see you.”

“How do you know if we’re even in the same town?”

“I don’t. I just hope we’re close enough because I haven’t seen you in far too long! Where do you live? I could meet you at your place or you could come to mine or-”

Kanda had to suppress a small laugh as Alma rambled on about how they could meet up. He hoped a bit that they happened to live near each other as well...It would be great to see him after so long….

“Yu! You stopped listening to me again didn’t you!”

He rolled his eyes but couldn’t suppress the small smile creeping up his face  “Well it’s easy to get distracted with you rambling on all the time.”

“Yuuuu!” Kanda notice his smile got a bit bigger as Alma whined out his name. He blamed this solely on Alma. He was never this way when he wasn’t near or talking to him but somehow Alma always pulled out a way to get him to smile. It would be ridiculous and he had _plenty_ of memories of those attempts, probably only about half of them working but...It was still Alma and he still knew him far too well.

“Anyways, where do you live?”

He rolled his eyes and told Alma his address. He didn’t know why his friend was so insistent on finding out but it couldn’t hurt to see what came from telling him.

“Yu! I live there too! Well not exactly in your house obviously but in the same town! We should meet up!”

Kanda rolled his eyes and laughed a bit at Alma’s excitement. He didn’t know why or how but somehow Alma managed to make laugh more than he normally did (which was rarely at all when he wasn’t around Alma). Maybe it was the fact that he had enough energy to rival an energetic puppy, who knew. But what he did know was that they lived in the same town and his stupid sentimental self (which he _hated_ being) wanted to see Alma more than anything.

“Fine Alma. Just tell me when and where and I’ll meet you then.”

“Great! I’ll text you the details alright? I can’t wait to see you again! Please tell me you still have long hair.”

Kanda rolled his eyes at the ridiculous statement “Why, you want to braid it again like when we were kids?”

“Maybe~”

Kanda rolled his eyes again at his ridiculous friend. He remembered all the hair braiding. He didn’t enjoy it but it had happened. He swore Alma had either a death wish or a wish to lose his hands when he kept trying to braid his hair but eventually he grew tired of swatting at Alma’s hands all the time and one day out of pure exhaustion had just decided to let him do it _just once._ Give the boy an inch and he’ll take a mile. He slightly regretted letting him do it even once as he could never get him to stop after that _one_ time he didn’t stop him.

“Yea it’s still long Alma. Probably even longer then when we were kids.” Kanda sighed but smiled ever so faintly at Alma’s complete and utter ridiculously happy sounding reactions. He really hadn’t changed since they were kids, and he wasn’t sure he really _wanted_ him to change.

“I can’t wait to see you again! God it’s been far too long! I have to go now though, I have work soon but I’ll text you the details alright?”

“Alright Alma. I’ll see you then.”

“Alright. Bye Yu!”

“Bye Alma.”

Before he could hang up he heard Alma say “I’ve really missed you all these years Yu.”

“I’ve missed you too Alma.” It hit him right then and there that he wasn’t completely lying when he said that and wasn’t saying it as formality or what not.. He really _had_ missed Alma over the years but had chosen to ignore the feelings because he was _not_ one to dwell on the past. He hung up after a minute since he had heard nothing else. Shortly after he heard a ding come in, he saw the text had come from a different number. He opened it and saw it was from Alma. He had of course written it in the most ridiculous way possible (he expected nothing less from him though). He shook his head and smiled slightly at the idea of seeing Alma again. He looked at the photo of the two of them as kids and sighed a bit happily. He’d finally get to see him again after so many years….He guessed he could wait a week to see the excitable puppy that was his childhood friend.    

 

Alma looked impatiently at the door. He knew Yu would be here soon and the closer it got, the more impatient he got. He felt a hand placed on his shoulder. “Don’t worry so much Alma. I’m sure he’ll love seeing you no matter what.”

“Do you really think I should? I mean...I never told him about it….I got so excited talking to him after so long I never mentioned it….”

“Do what makes you happy Alma. If he’s even half as nice as you say he is, he’ll respect it.”

“Thanks Lena.”

“No problem Alma. Now go get ready. I can take over from here. Plus Allen should be here any minute. Go get pretty for your friend”

He blushed a bit at that but he couldn’t help but smile. He’d been working at the coffee shop with Lenalee (and Allen) for over a year now and they’d become close friends. He knew Yu would comment on the ridiculous name of the place ‘in coffee we trust’ but Alma liked it. It was a cozy little place and the people who came in were friendly enough. He walked into the break room to grab his bag. He had packed a couple different outfits that he could change into once he got his uniform off.

He still wasn’t 100% sure he should come out in a dress and everything….He had completely forgotten to mention to Yu that he was non binary and sometimes when he mentioned it….It didn’t always go well. He didn’t want to lose Yu as a friend after not seeing him for so long….He was still worried that Yu would take it badly….But Lenalee was also right. Yu wasn’t typically the person to judge once they got to know you, although rarely people made it that far with him. But Alma was special and had preserved enough to get there. He talked about Yu a bit with Lenalee but he hadn’t given off too many details. Just enough to get some opinions from her. He wanted to make sure he was doing the right thing and wouldn’t scare him off by showing up in a dress and everything. He was sure Lenalee was right and there was nothing to worry about. He was probably worrying over nothing. Yu would probably tell him this much.

He grabbed his bag and pulled out the dress he had brought with him. It was purple with polka dots all over it and he loved it. The purple matched the purple streaks he had in his hair. He recently had them done in order to get ready to see Yu again. He was probably fussing too much over everything but he couldn’t help it. He hadn’t seen him in over 9 years and that was _far_ too long. He missed him...Alma smiled as he changed out of his uniform and into his dress.

“Cute dress Alma. What’s the occasion?”

Alma stared at him startled and he heard Allen laugh. “Don’t worry, I didn’t see you change into it.”

He relaxed at this and smiled at Allen. “My old friend is coming in soon so i’m getting ready”

“Ah. That grumpy friend of yours you gushed to us about.”

“Well it was mostly to Lenalee. You just happened to be nearby.”

“Still heard it either way. Anyways, I take it I’m covering for you with Lenalee till you finish?”

Alma blushed a bit but nodded. “Thanks by the way.”

“No problem. Just means I get more tips.”

He laughed and rolled his eyes at that. “Whatever Allen. I gotta continue getting ready. He should be here soon.”

“Alright. Have fun on your little date. Just know me and Lena will be spying on you from the counter.”

“I expect nothing less.” That made Allen laugh as he left the room. Alma smiled as he went back to his back and grabbed his brush and his makeup bag. He still worried a bit about how Yu would react to him being non binary but...It would be fine….Right? He hoped it would be as he fixed his hair up a bit before starting on his makeup. He was probably just overreacting. Yu would be fine with it….he really hoped he would be.

 

Kanda walked into the small coffee shop around 3pm. He still couldn’t believe he was meeting Alma at a coffee shop named ‘in coffee we trust.’ It was the stupidest name he’d ever heard of, but also very much a place he would suspect Alma would go to. He went up and ordered a hot chocolate from, as it turned out, Allen..He wasn’t really a coffee drinker and it seemed weird not to order a drink while waiting. Plus, he wanted to ‘talk’ to Allen to bother him.

“That’ll be $3.50.”

Kanda smirked a bit as he handed him the money. “Here you go moyashi.”

“Bakanda! Can you ever actually get my name right?! The name’s Allen! It’s right on my name tag. Actually look at it.”

“Oh I can see it just fine. But unless you grow taller, you’ll still be a moyashi, moyashi..”

“It’s Allen! A-l-l-e-n!”

“Yes I’m very aware of that.”

Moyashi grumbled loudly as he put the money in the cash register. “And what’s your name?”

“Kanda. Surprised you had to ask.”

“It’s company policy to ask for the name, so I have to do it, even if I already know it.”

He saw the moyashi was visibly annoyed as he wrote his name on the cup before passing it off to someone else. He didn’t pay attention to who else was there. Kanda sat down at a table shortly after and waited for his drink and Alma. He couldn’t see him sitting around anywhere so he wasn’t quite sure _where_ he was but he had to be somewhere in the place. Or maybe he was late. He looked around but saw nothing of interest. Part of him wanted to go bug moyashi again but that would likely require paying for something else and he had no intention of doing that.

“Bakanda, your order is ready”

Kanda growled a bit at that. He glared directly at Allen and just _knew_ it was his doing. He saw a smirk on his face and Kanda just wanted to smack it off. He should’ve known he’d do something like that. Usually when Kanda called him a moyashi, he usually called him that back. He’d have to get them back for that later. He was going to give Alma a half hour more before he’d get fed up with waiting and leave. Where the fuck even was he?! Alma was the one who’d pick the time _and_ the place and yet he was still nowhere in sight. He got up and grabbed his drink from the counter.

“Have a good day _bakanda._ ”

“Oh I will moyashi.”

“It’s Allen!”

“I know, moyashi~”

Kanda walked away and sat back at his table. He took a sip of his drink and instantly regretted not just getting coffee. He wasn’t really a coffee person but he _really_ wasn’t a sweets person. In hindsight, ordering something with chocolate in it should’ve tipped him off about it but he was hoping it could be at least a bit bitter. It was just sweet as hell, even _after_ he took off the whipped cream. He had taken one bite of the whipped cream then took it off. It was too sweet. He had deep regrets of ordering the drink. Maybe he could give it to Alma when he came in or _if_ he ever came in. He was already a half hour late at this point. Only Alma could make him wait a max of an hour past the original meet up time. It was ridiculous but he had missed him so he was willing to wait to see if Alma would ever come in.

Suddenly he heard someone call out “Yu!” and he _knew_ that it had to be Alma. Not many people knew his first name, much less called him by it. He looked up and was vaguely confused. The voice definitely was Alma’s. He could recognize Alma’s voice anywhere so that wasn’t the problem. The problem was, the person that the voice had come from… didn’t quite… well….look like Alma. He guessed they had similar qualities but didn’t quite look like he remembered Alma to look like. But he saw the scar on the bridge of their nose and knew it _had_ to be Alma. How many people had scars on their nose like Alma had? His guess was none. They stopped at his table and looked eagerly at him. But all he could do was stare confused. How was this Alma….It sounded like Alma but didn’t quite _look_ like Alma.

“Hey Yu. Aren’t you going to greet me/”

He saw Alma tilt his head a bit confused and it almost looked sad but Kanda was still trying to figure out the whole appearance vs voice thing. It wasn’t that they _looked_ bad….He was just confused. He had a purple dress on with polka dots all over the actually seemed to suit him. His hair looked for the most part the same, still a bit spiky at parts with two clumps hanging around the front of his face. The only real difference appeared to be that he got purple streaks in his hair, the same shade of purple that was actually on his dress. He had no idea if this was done of purpose but knowing Alma, it likely was. The thing that probably confused him the most was the face full of makeup. It didn’t look _bad_ on him….it was just different. He wasn’t expecting it and that’s what’s probably throwing him off.

“I-I can go change if this bothers you. I-”

“It doesn’t bother me Alma. I’m just… confused. I’m more just trying to understand it all.” He smiled a bit before saying “Some warning would’ve been nice but you don’t need to go change. Just go ahead and sit down already.”

He could tell that made Alma happy. He was still very much confused about it but he didn’t want Alma thinking he didn’t like it or that he needed to go change. Kanda had absolutely 0 problem with it, he was just confused on the _why_ and _how._ He heard Alma laugh and he couldn’t help but smile a bit more at it. He didn’t know _how_ Alma was doing it,but he blamed Alma’s influence on him for it.

“Oh right. I realized as I was getting dressed earlier that I probably should’ve warned you. But I’m glad you like it. I guess I should explain then shouldn’t I?”

“An explanation would be helpful so I’m not spending our entire meeting wondering about it.”

Alma laughed a bit louder and it reminded him of how carefree Alma had always seemed. He had always smiled and laughed so much that Kanda had found it weird. But now it was just normal to him when he thought of Alma.

Kanda was a bit surprised when Alma had grabbed his hand and held it in his. He noticed that even Alma’s nails looked like they had probably been done recently. Which only made him more confused.

“Well I guess I’ll explain it. It’s actually a pretty short explanation. Turns out I’m non binary, specifically genderfluid but non binary works just fine as well. And what _that_ means is basically I don’t care about gender and dress however I feel. And I wanted to look nice for our meet up. So I brought all my stuff here and went to change when I got off for a break.”

Kanda looked at him even more confused before he noticed Alma laughing more and squeezing his hand. “Oh Yu. You actually look rather cute when you look confused. But the obvious answer is that I work here. I actually technically still am but I’m on break right now and can stay on a break for awhile since Allen and Lenalee got everything handled right now. Did you meet them?”

“Yea I did. I actually know them both. I saw moyashi, otherwise known as Allen, earlier and I still gotta get back at him later for writing bakanda on my cup.”

He saw Alma burst into laughter at that. Kanda sipped his drink and remembered again why he didn’t normally order it. It was just too sweet. “Hey you want this Alma? It’s too sweet for me.”

“Still not into sweet Yu?”

“Nope. Only really ordered it since nothing else sounded appealing and I was hoping it wouldn’t have been as sweet as it is.”

Alma smiled and took the cup. Kanda saw him laugh a bit at seeing the name on the cup. “Yup. That’s definitely Allen for you. Too bad you didn’t talk to Lenalee. I didn’t know you knew them. ”

“Yea. I’ve known them for awhile. Lenalee ends up having to stop mine and moyashi’s fights. The nature of moyashi and mine’s friendship is well...complicated. But lenalee is nice. I didn’t realize she worked here.”

Alma smiled and Kanda couldn’t help but take a minute to admire it. The makeup had only helped Alma, it showed off his eyes quite a lot. He never really noticed before but he had really pretty eyes. They were bright blue, brighter then he remembered but that could just be the makeup’s doing, and they still reminded him of an excited puppy. He could just _tell_ Alma was happy to see him purely through looking at his eyes. They seemed to have lit up just by being around him. His eyes moved down and lingered at Alma’s perfectly red lips before looking away. He didn’t know _why_ he was feeling like this or what he was even feeling but he felt like something was different….

“Yu~ You really should be nicer to people you know.”

“I still hate people Alma. Dogs are infinity better than people.”

“Even me?”

Kanda sighed seeing the familiar puppy dog eyes. He knew them all too well on Alma and was vaguely aware that he and Alma were still holding hands. He enjoyed it for some reason so he didn’t pull his hand away. He was content just the way things were. Except if Alma could get rid of the puppy dog eyes, that would be _great._

“Fine. Maybe not you. But dogs are still pretty great.”

“They are. Do you own one now? I know you’ve always liked dogs so it would make sense you would own one unless your place doesn’t allow pets. That would be a shame but I guess-”

“Has anyone told you that you talk far too much?”

“Yes. You have, on many occasions Yu.”

Kanda laughed softly at that “I probably have. But it still holds true.” He felt Alma squeeze his hand softly and it felt nice. Nice in a way he couldn’t explain and was only slightly terrifying to him.

“Well you still haven’t answered my question.”

“No I don’t have a dog but I work at an animal shelter in town so I get plenty of time with dogs and minimal interaction with humans. It’s the best part of the job.”

He saw Alma smile and take a sip of the drink. “Hm...Yes. I guess this would be too sweet for you. I’ll have to try making a more bitter one for you sometime. Not much of a coffee drinker I take it?”

“Not really. Coffee’s alright but I rather not pay for it. Plus everything here would just be overly sweet anyways and paying for black coffee is just stupid.”

Alma laughed a bit and shook his.head. “You really haven’t changed much have you Yu?”

“Nope. And personality wise, you haven’t changed a bit either.”

“I only physically look different.”

“Well you do look rather feminine, which is different. It’s nice though. A warning would’ve been good though.”

Alma looked down and away from Kanda. Kanda noticed this and had the urge to push his chin up and ask what’s wrong. So he ended up doing exactly that, why he’ll probably never know but he did it anyways.

“What’s wrong Alma? If anything, please don’t cry. I’m terrible with crying people.”

That at least made Alma smile a bit. “You never were good at it.”

“I’m good at it with dogs. That’s it. Most of my skills end up like that.”

That made Alma smile a bit more but he still looked a bit hesitant to say something.

“I-I’m sorry. It’s just….people haven’t always been nice to me about this. Actually a lot of them have been pretty shitty. Lenalee and Allen are really nice and respectful about it. But I’ve met some people who were outright shitty about it. And people who I thought were my friend but ended up not after they found out that I’m non binary. I was just-”

Kanda couldn’t help but shake his head and laugh. He knew that was probably the wrong reaction to have but he couldn’t help it. “Alma…..Did you really think that would change anything? Yes it’s different and Yes it’s still a bit confusing and I have to constantly remind myself that you’re not actually a woman no matter how hard my brain wants to say you are. But I could honestly care less how you choose to present yourself. Long as you’re happy, it’s fine. I can easily respect it. Besides, I can’t deny the fact that you look really good right now in it all.”

He saw Alma blush a bit, which strangely made him smile. He was feeling all sorts of weird things around Alma today….He’d have to figure it out after their meetup.

“Well thanks Yu. That’s very kind of you. Part of me knew you’d say something like that or call me ridiculous for thinking anything would change-”

“You definitely are ridiculous but you still remain my friend Alma.”

Alma smiled a bit brighter, “Yes. I’m glad we’re still friends Yu. But yes, part of me knew you’d say something along those lines but part of me was still afraid that you’d reject it and in turn reject me.” He squeezed Kanda’s hand and smiled. “I’m glad that’s not the case though. I’ve missed you too much to lose you..”

He saw Alma reach out and grab his ponytail before he felt Alma’s fingers running through it. It actually felt good to have his fingers run through it. He wondered-. No. He needed to stop thinking like that, like he’d actually want to _date_ Alma. He didn’t want to date him. They were just friends. But he also guessed friends didn’t hold hands the whole time and think about kissing the other. He couldn’t _not_ think about it when he looked straight at Alma’s red lips. He knew he was gay and had known this for quite a while but….did he really like Alma _that_ way. He sighed a bit internally before looking at Alma again. He would have _a lot_ to figure it all out tonight.

“Yu, did you ever move off of using only soap on your hair?”

“Why would I change something that works? If it isn’t broken Alma, don’t fix it. Besides, why would I use and spend money on shampoo and conditioner when soap worked just as well as that stuff.”

“Well, soap isn’t _really_ made for hair but I don’t think  I can convince you to change so I’m not going to bother with that argument. I still think you _should_ really consider using it. But your hair is still surprisingly soft…..And it’s definitely longer then when we were kids. Can I braid it?”

“Right now? No. Later? ….Maybe. Depends on my mood.”

Alma smiled brightly and Kanda knew he’d regret saying that later but it was worth it to see Alma smile like that.

They talked for awhile about anything and everything, catching up on the years they hadn’t seen each other and Kanda was happy to be around Alma. He couldn’t quite explain it but Alma alway just had this energy around him that caused it. Maybe it was just that Alma is almost like an excitable puppy himself and Kanda always had loved dogs. But eventually Kanda remembered that Alma would have to go back to work soon. And it looked like Alma had the same realization.

“I guess I should probably get back to work soon.”

“Probably. But I enjoyed this. Despite the initial confusion on your appearance.”

Alma laughed a bit and smiled brightly at him “Yea. Next time I’ll warn you alright?”

“Sounds good to me. Just text me when you want to meet up again.”

“Or you could always meet me here. I go on break for lunch around noon and we could go get something to eat together?”

Kanda had a vague feeling that it wasn’t just a ‘two friends going out to eat’ sort of thing but he was never very good at picking up hints.

“Just tell me when and I’ll come by and take you out sometime.”

He saw Alma smile brightly and he noticed they were still holding hands. That probably meant something but of what he wasn’t quite sure. Suddenly he felt a pair of lips on his cheek that made him blush. Alma had just kissed him. Least he now knew two things 1: That Alma is definitely gay. Or bi. Or something like that. Just that he wasn’t straight. And 2: that Alma was definitely interested in _him._ He saw Alma pull away after the kiss and he smiled brighter then he had the entire meeting. “Bye Yu. Call me sometime alright? We’ll set up a time to go have lunch together.”

Kanda could only nod in reply as he was still in a bit of shock. He saw Alma laugh and wave bye to him as he left to presumably go change back into his work clothes. Kanda just stood there and touch where Alma had kissed his cheek. He realized now that he was probably attracted to Alma. He never actually thought that he’d end up with someone like Alma, someone so opposite of him. Someone so cheerful and happy with life. But he guessed it wouldn’t be all bad. The idea of dating Alma didn’t repulse him. Plus, he couldn’t deny that he didn’t feel happier that then he had in a long while since he had met up with him. Yup. he was in deep now. Maybe he’d plan some way to ask him out later. Or just wait till Alma did it. He’d have to go sort his feelings out about this whole idea later. But for now, he was happy. And he could handle that...once he got everything sorted out. He walked out of the coffee shop with the ridiculous name and smiled a bit to himself. He’d gotten his friend back and was likely going to end up dating him. And somehow that idea didn’t bother him at all. All it did was make him smile because of the ridiculously excitable puppy like boy that was Alma Karma.


End file.
